Away from home
by Azhure99
Summary: Naruko Uzumaki here! (fem Naruto) My first time away from home I was sent to konoha high a very strange boarding school filled with strange people. But one in particular caught my eye, Sasuke Uchiha, what was his problem? SasuFemNaru
1. Chapter 1

It was my first time away from home. When I arrived at Konoha high, a boarding school, it looked just like a regular building. I had no idea what this particular set of buildings would come to mean to me or the home I would create. I was scared, and lonely but so excited. I got unpacked and moved into my little room I was sharing with a girl named Sakura, she seemed pleasant enough we got along well, at least at that time.

The first orientation was being held that day, the day before classes began. It was just a huge buffet provided by the school so the kids would all go down to the soccer field where it was being served and get to know each other. I was nervous and hoped I wouldn't end up eating all alone but I went, hopeful that this place was going to change my life. That was the day everything changed, that was the day I met him, though at the time I didn't even know it. I was in line for my food when a group behind me over eager for their food bumped me into the guy in front of me.

"Sorry," I said embarrassed.

"Do not worry about it, and do not look so nervous I do not bite." He replied. He was tall and skinny and definitely not my type but his eyes were kind and he was so polite.

"I'm Naruko, nice to meet you." I said with a timid little wave.

"Lee" He replied holding out his hand. I took it apprehensively but he just raised my hand to his lips and kissed it, "It's a pleasure." He said making me blush. I desperately wanted to be attracted to this man. Never before had anyone treated me so kindly. My home before was like a prison. I didn't fit in, I was never...wanted. People didn't say kind things to me, not before that day. I had been treated like a germ, something tolerated by some but most only wanted to destroy me. So having my hand kissed like a princess in a movie was nothing short of a miracle.

Lee and I passed pleasant small talk as we waited in line, I found out he was from a town only 2 hours away from the school. I felt awkward I was from much farther away, like a 2 hour plane ride away. The last thing I wanted was to feel like an outcast again, not here this was my fresh start. But Lee never stopped treating me kindly and I started to relax. I even laughed at a very bad joke of his. When we got to the food he was in the middle of a very long monologue about his track coach Might Guy (the athletes had come to campus a week before the rest of us) and when I finished filling my plate I turned. He stopped me, "Come eat with me Naruko." He said not even bothering to transition back into his talk.

I followed him some distance until we arrived at his group of friends. Here I was overwhelmed by a long list of names, first and last that was way to much for anyone to remember. One of these names and faces I forgot from that day was Sasuke Uchiha. I probably sat right next to him but for the life of me I can't remember. There were so many new people, Lee and his roommate Sasuke. Their apartment mates (because the athletes got all the good rooms) Shino and Choji who were sharing a room and others were all introduced to me. It was a lot of names and I've never been great with names but I got along well with all of them. It was an amazing day, the first time I'd ever been happy. The first time I met him, Sasuke Uchiha, the man that would change my entire life.

At some point during that lunch Lee had invited me over to his place to hang out the next day. I knew it was because he liked me and wanted to woo me but I agreed because despite not liking Lee I liked the kind way he treated me. I met him after my classes for the day at the dinning hall and we walked together towards his apartment while he chatted away and politely asked me how my classes were. The door opened into his apartments living room, to my right was the back of the couch and a big ball of black hair. The black hair turned when we walked into the room.

"This is my roommate Sasuke," Lee said, somehow knowing I had completely forgotten everyone's names. Sasuke just glared at me like I was a bug who had annoyingly buzzed to close to his ear then turned back to his video game. My eyes fell on the tv where the game was playing on the screen. It was one I had recognized from home. Sasuke was holding a plastic guitar in his hands and moving his fingers at incredible speeds to hit all the notes on a particularly fast song. I guess my staring got Lees attention and he asked me if I would like to play. I nodded still standing in the doorway behind the couch listening to the rock music play. When the song finished Lee lead me around the couch and sat down in a chair to the left of the couch and as there were no other seats I sat on the couch with Sasuke a large three foot couch cushion in between.

Sasuke had slid over on the couch a little when I went to sit down but other than that he made no acknowledgment of the presence of Lee or I. He put on another song and started to play while I got a little more comfortable sinking into the comfortable couch. When the song finished without turning his head Sasuke held the little plastic guitar out in the air so it was pointing towards Lee and waving right in front of my face. Lee grabbed the guitar and started teaching me how to play then put a song on so he could show me how good he was. It was cute, him trying to impress me by being better at a video game than his intriguing silent roommate. When he finished Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest as Lee set the game up on easy and handed me the guitar.

My turn was terrible it sounded like a train wreck. Sasuke just sat there an unreadable look on his face while Lee shouted encouragement and laughed a little when I screwed up something simple. I finally finished the song not knowing what to do next, I looked at Lee and he wasn't reaching for the guitar so I held it out to Sasuke, who took it and went back to what he was doing before like we had never existed. This went on for several more turns until Shino and Choji came home after dinner (they had eaten out. Choji always wanted more food) interrupting everything. They came home talking and gossiping earning a "Hn." and a smirk from Sasuke who then finally said something.

I was surprised, Sasuke was smart. So much smarter than he was letting on and there was something about him, something complicated. With the other two home it became more like a party, They all sat down and took turns playing Choji joining Lee in helping encourage me while Shino and Sasuke hardly spoke. When the sun finally set I started thinking it was time to head home, but it was Sasuke's turn next. _One more song_ I thought to myself. I watched him in the darkness judging him. There was something I liked about him, there was something I completely hated about him. He had beautiful dark eyes but large quantities of sleek black hair. He was intense, he was mean, but he wasn't. _I should like Lee_ I thought wishing I could.

I left my number with Lee that night hoping we might be friends and hang out again. But that night when I lay down to sleep my thoughts kept turn to Sasuke, I mean, What was his problem?


	2. Chapter 2

The next day I had completely forgotten all about that Sasuke boy in my excitement for my new classes. (We had different ones each day) I got up, tied my long blonde hair up in it's regular two perfect pig tails and put on a nice pair of pants and a super adorable top cut low over my C-cup breasts., I looked good. I was so happy I practically skipped to my first class. I walked into the class room and took it all in. Two rows up towards the middle was Sasuke Uchiha. I looked at him for a second debating whether to sit next to the annoying cold hearted... Well you get the idea. I had pretty much decided against it when he raised his eyes to meet mine. He kinda sank into his chair raising his shoulders up towards his ears and he raised one hand casually over his shoulder in the laziest most confused looking wave I had ever seen.

I sighed, my manners and curiosity getting the best of me, and walked over and sat next to him. "Hey, you're that girl..."

"Naruko" I supplied

"Right, you came home with Lee."

"Yeah, he's really nice."

"Hn." He said smirking. I guess he didn't like Lee. Class started and I thought our conversation would be over but he continued asking me questions. _I suspected he was smart but it seems he is one of those to smart to pay attention in class types and I'm sure he gets perfect marks too_. Now I am not the smartest girl in class, I've managed to do well enough through hard work and studying but this kid! He didn't stop. He wanted to know where I was from, why I was here, basically my whole life story all while I was trying to pay attention. He was getting on my nerves I was trying to pay attention! I looked down at my notes to see I had only managed to get two lines written down so after his next question I snapped. I mean how annoying could he be?! I had been answering only in the shortest of sentences sometimes only one word responses and only because the minute I stopped answering he'd ask again a little louder like I was deaf and hadn't heard him.

"SHHH! Seriously! I'm trying to pay attention!"

He looked shocked, like no girl had ever told him to shut his annoying face before. I almost felt bad but there were only ten minutes left in class, he had talked the ENTIRE time. He stayed silent for the rest of class and I got up and headed for the door after the bell. As I waited behind the other students filing through the door I felt something brush my shoulder. It was Sasuke...AGAIN. Standing at my shoulder like he'd go crazy if I got away from him. He then started his questions over again as he followed me out the door. So finally we're standing on the sidewalk outside the history building and class has been out for ten minutes and he makes no sign of stopping. I sighed and ran my hand through my bangs, something I do when I'm confused or annoyed, and finally spoke up.

"Hey my room is right here, I live in the building across the street. Soo..." I said hoping he'd get the hint and head to his house. But Sasuke Uchiha was smart and my plan back fired.

"I have an hour till my next class. You said you had an hour till your next class too." Great not only was he asking questions he was listing to my answers. _Go get food, go to class early, Go home, just GO AWAY! _"My apartment is like a 20 minute walk from here mind If I come up so I don't have to walk?" The girls rooms were on the 3rd floor of the dorm buildings and were locked so boys couldn't come up...unless of course a girl let one in. Hadn't this guy ever heard of manners? He just invited himself over to my room! What the hell was I supposed to say?

"No, that's fine." I said slightly defeated leading him across the street and up the stairs. I unlocked the door to the floor and then the door to my room dropping my book bag on the floor. I only made it halfway across the floor when Sasuke threw himself down on my bed stretching out and relaxing like he owned the place. At least he was quiet for a moment. I sat down in my computer desk chair turning it to face the odd boy laying comfortably on my bed. With his eyes closed he almost looked cute, at least, half as annoying. The silence gave me an idea, he was silent so it was time to ask MY questions.

We covered his life, his parents died when he was young. I found out he has one older brother Itachi who he seemed to idolize and look up to. He was always smart and sometimes got into trouble just because he was smart enough to get away with it. He never had problems getting girls that was clear enough from the way he sprawled on my bed. I supposed I was a game to him, he just wanted to see if he could make me fall for him. While I felt like there was something more to him that was intriguing his outer playboy crap repulsed me. The time went quickly and it was time to head to my next class. We ended up both going to the same place the math building though we were in different classes. We walked together silently and I waved a little at his disappointed face when I made the left turn towards my class and he kept going straight.

I enjoyed math especially the quiet of it. No more Sasuke Uchiha questions, just peace and quiet. I thought I had seen the last of him for the day, I was wrong. After class he was waiting in front of the building for me and again I had had enough of that Sasuke bastard!

"What do you want from me?" I snapped at his annoying smirk. He seemed terribly amused by my anger. He didn't say anything but he stepped in close freezing me on the spot. His right hand grabbed my chin and lowered his lips to mine stopping mere breaths away from touching. He was winning In that moment I could feel my whole body respond to his closeness I wanted to kiss him! That fact only made me hate him more, _Damn him! _He didn't move, I didn't move, no one breathed, then just as suddenly as it started he pulled away smiling a knowing smile. _DAMN HIM! _He knew I had wanted it, he knew I had wanted him, _That bastard! _

He just turned and walked away the kiss that almost happened hanging in the air. I shook my head staring at his back trying to clear my thoughts. I hadn't thought I was that attracted to him. I hadn't thought thought I was attracted to him at all. _Bastard._


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't see Sasuke again at all that day. When classes were over I went back to my room to find Sakura in an annoyingly excited chat with Ino from across the hall about some stupid by they both liked. I lay down on my bed and pulled my pillow over my head ignoring them. My perfect plan to forget all about the almost kiss backfired as my bed and pillow smelled of him. I really did like him, the boy who lay on my bed whose breath caught in his throat when he talked about his parents and the reverential tone he used when talking about his brother. He really did care, his heart was overflowing with love for his family and the loss had scarred his heart. He craved love, needed it, he'd been alone for so long he had almost forgotten what it felt like. That boy was worth knowing, but it was inexplicably tied to the arrogant, selfish, bastard who thought of girls as a game. _UGH. Maybe I should play a game of my own._

The next day I didn't see him at all though I did make friends with a very nice guy I had met the other day in math, Gaara, and the boy who lazily watched clouds in gym instead of participating, Shikamaru. Gaara was cute and kind and made me smile so much my face hurt. I wanted him instantly he was the guy I had always looked for, always hoped for. But the next day when Sasuke sat down next to me in class (I had arrived first), I knew there was no way I could give him up. He talked over class again trying to find out everything about me. He was always analyzing the information and forming plans with how best to use the information.

He spent the whole day with me, following me around with his incessant questions. He managed to drag out everything from me. My hopes, dreams, secrets I'd never told anybody before were somehow spilling out of my mouth. I couldn't hide anything from this boy, he had already figured out which face I made when I lied or was hiding something. He had figured out from the almost kiss what I looked like when I wanted him and what I looked like when I hated him so he could direct the conversation exactly how he wanted it to go. That is how after dinner I found myself in his room for the first time.

It was bare on his side. There were no posters, nothing. Just a plain computer and a plain black comforter on his bed. It accurately reflected him well. He was dark, Dark hair, Dark eyes, Dark spirit, with all of himself hidden deep where no one could find it, except me. He typed on his computer checking his facebook and examining messages from his adoring fans while I sat on his floor. (I wasn't arrogant enough to sit on HIS bed) I was surprised to see that one of his fans was my roommate, Sakura, and I laughed out loud at this notion. He looked over at me clearly faking having forgotten I was there. He shot me a look that said "What?" but I just shook my head and giggled some more.

Later that night we played more of that guitar game, he seemed to find the music soothing. He tolerated my attempts maybe twice before deciding to teach me how to do it right for the sake of his own ears. He sat next to me close so our bodies were touching the whole length of our sides and would wrap his arms around me so his hands covered mine until I started to improve. I felt proud when he didn't feel the need to help anymore and sad. I was sad because I'd lost my excuse have his arms around me (though he stayed sitting close) even though I hated myself for thinking that way.

Eventually his apartment mates went to bed one by one until he and I were left alone in his living room. Without saying anything he casually flicked off the light leaving the room only lit by the tv. We played on quietly, the silence thick with implications. Then he put the plastic guitar down and turned towards me. He leaned in as if to kiss me again, teasingly stopping a breath away. I could feel the heat of his breath on my lips and the electric tingle that shot down my spine. But he waited there, just out of reach. _I am Naruko Uzumaki damn it! I'm not letting some guy drive me crazy like this! _So I didn't move, he would probably have pulled away if I had tried anyway and the game would be over, his win.

"If you wanna kiss me you should." I said so he knew I wouldn't give in to him. If he wanted me he's have to prove it and make the first move.

"Hn." He smirked intrigued by my determination. He got up and walked towards his room trying to leave me alone in the dark.

"You've got to be kidding me!? Sas...Sasuke! ….Damn IT!" At my curse he knew he had won and turned around with the brightest cockiest triumphant smile on his face crossing the room in two long strides. Next thing I knew his hand was hooked behind my head and hip lips were on mine. He ran his tongue over my lips asking for entrance but I was still so angry I held them tight. He pulled back from the kiss and smirked at me.

"You don't like it?" He asked knowing I did.

"No, I..." I was going to finish my sentence with I'm mad at you but he kissed me unexpectedly while my mouth was open using the opportunity to let his tongue explore. He was infuriating! I hated him! But the way that bastard used his tongue, the insistence of his hand on my neck pulling me close so our entire bodies touched, caused me to moan involuntarily. He pushed me down on the couch laying on top of me so I could feel his hard erection pressed up against me. There was no doubt he wanted me. I wanted him. But I wanted to be more than just some fan-girl, so I found the courage when he came up for air I put my hands on his chest and pushed. He rolled off me and off the couch and hit his butt hard on the floor smacking his wrist hard against the coffee table.

"arghh!" He yelled shaking his wrist in the air looking pissed. He glared at me dangerously and I knew I had taken his little game to far. I got off the couch and straddled him sitting on his lap and hugging him close.

"I'm so sorry!" I said pleadingly hoping he understood. Behind my back I felt him cradle his hurt left wrist in his right hand checking to make sure I hadn't done any real damage.

When he was sure he was alright he finally said simply. "Owe. Idiot." I pulled back from my hug grabbed his annoying head and pulled him into a very deep kiss. On instinct I grinded my hips on his lap as we made out until I was breathing heavily and completely turned on. The game was over, neither of us could control ourselves. I wanted him and he wanted me, he wasn't and ass hole that night.

He stretched his arm out pushing the table completely out of the way and rolling to his left taking me with him, pinning me under him on the carpet. He started moving his hips while our kiss became more of a pass time. The main event was his erection grinding against my clit, the only problem was the layers of clothing still between them.

His lips moved from mine to kiss my neck and down to the edge of my low cut black tank top. He stayed there kissing the rise of my breast just above my heart as his hands unbuttoned my jeans and his fingers found what they were looking for. His fingers explored rubbing around my clit and the outside of my opening and his kiss on my breast turned to biting. He bit and sucked I suppose to distract me as his fingers went inside of me. He moved his fingers around searching.

I took a sharp intake of breath as he found the right spot inside me and moaned as I let the air out. From his relentless questioning he knew that I was a virgin and from mine I knew that he was not. But even though he knew, and the look in his eyes said he had not forgotten, he did not let up. He took his fingers back. He sat up on his knees and before I knew what was happening he grabbed handfuls of my pants and tugged till the were down to my knees. The force of the pull dragged me painfully across the carpet and I made a move to get away from him not sure I was ready for the step he wanted me to make. I managed to get my legs together and on the side of him so he was no longer between my legs but I had just made it easier for him as he grabbed my pants and pulled them completely off.

I scooted backwards across the carpet my arms behind my butt and my legs together pushing myself backwards, away from Sasuke. "Sasuke," I started. "Stop...we...can't...I" I stammered at him frightened at what his response would be. I had no reason to be scared since it turned out, I was right about him. I knew it, he was only and arrogant bastard on the outside. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath trying to calm his body as he threw my pants at me looking intensely at the ground next to him. I quickly put my pants back on and scooted a little closer but he held his arm out warning me to stay away as he got up and sat on the couch.

"Just give me a minute." He said breathing deeply and closing his eyes. I sat still on the ground watching him as he struggled to calm his body from the frenzy I had put him in. I didn't know what to say so I said nothing loving him in that moment for respecting me and struggling to keep his body under control. I have no idea how long that moment took but it felt like ages past as I waited nervously on that floor.

I was practically shaking with nervous energy when he finally opened his deep dark eyes plastered on a fake smile and asked. "Want anything to drink?" He was already up and halfway to the kitchen when he finished the sentence.

"Yeah...Sure."

He filled a large glass and drank from it on his way back, sitting down on the couch. When he finished drinking he handed the glass to me and I sipped from it, getting up to sit next to him on the couch. I handed the drink back to him unfinished laying my head on his shoulder. He finished the glass and set it on the table lazily reaching his right arm around to grab my head and pull it closer to his left shoulder.

He looked down at me, my eyes closed as I leaned on him, "You look tired." he stated yawning looking over at the clock, it was past 2:30 am. "It's late." I looked up to check the clock and groaned, It was really late and I _was_ tired and the walk home was long.

"I should go..." I said standing up to look for my bag. I felt a strong hand wrap around my wrist and movement as Sasuke stood up beside me.

"Come on." He said pulling my wrist towards his room. He left no room for argument because if I had said anything I would have woken his roommate. He closed the door behind us and I stood and watched in the dark as he unbuttoned his jeans pulled them off and put on a loose fitting pair of shorts. He lifted the covers and got in scooting towards the wall in the tiny twin bed. He sat there holding the blankets up waiting for me. Just to be safe I stayed fully clothed but got into bed next to him and he pulled me tight so my head was laying on his chest.

I was uncomfortable trying to sleep in my jeans and bra but I was comfortable there. With my ear flat against his chest I heard his heart beating loud. It was the sweetest music. I lifted my head to look up at him, his eyes were closed. I thought he may have been asleep already until I felt his hand on my head again pulling me back to my place on his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning we got up like nothing had happened. He took me to breakfast, then I went home. Sakura was in our room on her computer online-stalking Sasuke and I had to hide my smile knowing she didn't stand a chance. _Or does she?_ I thought. Sasuke and I certainly weren't dating, I mean he wasn't even nice to me, and even if we had been he had only really shown an interest in my body. I sighed and got about enjoying my entirely Sasuke-free weekend.

At least I thought it would be a Sasuke-free weekend. In reality I only spent one night away. Because the day after we parted at almost 11 at night as I was checking my email in my pajamas before bed I received a message from Sasuke.

"Hey what are you up to?"

"Getting ready for bed you?"

"Nothing." Then he went silent for ten minutes until, "I think I'm going to go for a walk"

"It's the middle of the night! Are you crazy?"

"I just need to get out. I feel like I'm losing it here."

"What's wrong? What's going on?"

"I'm just gonna go meander around. Meet me here."

"I'll be right over." I typed confused. Sasuke wasn't the type to want someone around when he was upset. But for some reason he wanted to see me, well it was more like he demanded to see me. I got dressed quickly in my jacket and jeans hoping I'd be warm enough. I checked back at my computer and see his message of "Bring your camera" waiting for me. I said a quick "on my way" before grabbing my camera and walking to his apartment.

I waved when I saw him waiting for me through his front window. He opened the door stepping outside to join me.

"What is going on?" I asked. He zipped up his jacket and stepped down off the curb, I followed.

"Nice night for a walk." He said glancing at the half moon above us on the cloudless night. We made it several blocks before he began talking.

It turned out that day was the day his parents had died. His brother Itachi had called to check on him but had also delivered the news that Sasuke's dog, who was his best friend as a child, was sick. All of a sudden Sasuke was talking about every joy, every fear, every feeling he'd ever had. I was silent as we walked for miles up a long windy road up a nearby mountain. I was not even a little prepared for the physical exertion so I started to drag behind. He stopped walking, stopped talking and pulled me close to him for a hug. He then turned me around to look out past the guard rail at the city below us.

We kept walking up and up until the road stopped going higher. He then jumped off the road into the grass in the dark. "Sas...Sas...You're not serious!" I stammered. He just smiled and I followed. He grabbed my hand and led me all the way to the summit. He sat, pulling me down to sit between his legs. "This is not what meandering means to me." I said looking out at the city spread out below us in the dark the half moon glowing brightly above.

The city lights were like little glowing golden embers. It was like flying or being a god, just looking down on the whole world tiny as pin pricks below. I pointed down seeing our school and he kissed my cheek pulling me closer into his body. The city was huge, going on until the edge of our vision, It was a sight I will never forget.

He reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my camera. He had planned it from the start. He took several pictures of the city then turned it around and took one of us in our jackets in the dead of night, me between his legs. We sat for half an hour until the heat from our walk up began to dissipate and the cold night air started to nip at our skin. He told me about everything, whispered it all in my ear from behind me. His hopes, his dreams, ambitions, his loves, his past. Losing his parents had hurt him deeply and he had never loved anything that much again.

The longer I was with him the more I liked him. He was gentle and kind but strong and fiercely protective. As long as I was with him I would be safe, he would never let anything hurt me but at the same time he believed in my own ability to protect myself and wouldn't help if he thought I could handle it. I was never sure when that night I earned his respect but if I looked half as bad as I felt hiking a mountain in the middle of the night then he knew how determined I was to walk by his side.

He held my hand the whole walk down and this time we talked about me. By the time we reached his apartment door we had no secrets. He unlocked the door and pulled my in by my hand. He gave me some water as I was breathing heavily. Then took the glass from my hand and pulled me to him one hand behind my head and kissed me deeply pushing me back against the closed front door.

He rocked his hips forward against mine letting me feel his hardness in his pants. He took off my jacket dropping it there on the floor without breaking the kiss bringing his hands back to my face when he was done. Then his hands moved to my hips hooking the bottom of my shirt and pulling it off over my head. He grabbed my waist sliding one hand down over my butt to grab my thigh lifting me off the ground. I locked my legs behind his back, still pinned against the door.

The door was creaking as he pushed me back into it with the movement of his rocking hips so he swung me around throwing me over the back of the couch and down onto the cushions. He pulled off his own shirt stepping over the back of the couch and kneeling down so he was straddling me. He leaned over kissing me again. I moaned into his mouth as he began to rock his hips teasing my body as my hands explored every inch of his exposed upper half. As his mouth moved from my lips to the rise of my breasts still in my bra, I found my fingers tucked into the waistband of his pants curious to touch his erection under his jeans.

I unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down my hands finding the hardness they were looking for. I began to massage his dick while he formed another hickey lower on my other breast to match the first. He stood up grabbing my hips and pulling me around on the couch so my legs were hanging off the edge and he pulled my pants off. He got on his knees between my legs running his hands over my body and kissing my naked clit before pulling me completely off the couch onto the ground beside him. He slid out of his pants with ease, he'd clearly done this before and more than once.

He wrapped one arm under my head and behind it so all I could see was his loving face and hungry eyes. I kissed him running my hand back down to stroke his erection through his boxers letting him know I had made up my mind. He pushed up with his arm under my head repositioning himself between my legs. He pulled himself out of his boxers then laid himself on top of me rubbing his dick against my clit until I was so wet I thought I'd go crazy.

He put one finger in, then two stretching my virgin self out. He rested the tip against my opening whispering a warning in my ear that it might hurt then began to thrust in and out every thrust going deeper. He put his hand over my mouth right before he hit it all the way in stiffing my scream. The fact we were on the living room floor with his roommates a wall away only made it more exciting.

He kissed me as he continued to thrust slowly into me. He was breathing harder and I had almost stopped breathing all together in my attempt not to make noise. He went harder so the room was filled with the sound of him smacking himself deeply into me until something snapped inside of me. I made a small yelp of surprise at the pain. He smiled and kissed me as a tear fell from my eye, promising me it would feel better now.

He told the truth, now when he moved waves of pleasure washed over me and my breathing became ragged as he tangled his hands in my hair using his arms for leverage to pull himself deeper inside of me. He went deeper and harder and faster until my nails were scratching at his back begging him for release. He hit deeper and harder until we both finally climaxed together lips locked and sweating. He stayed inside of me and I could feel him still twitching inside of me with the strength of his orgasm. I moaned when he finally pulled out quickly putting my panties and pants back on while he did the same.

I realized as I climbed into his bed beside him after taking my bra off and putting on a pair of his shorts that he had never once even told me he liked me. But as he pulled my head down to his heart I realized that he showed it in every action. When he asked me to come with him that night, by holding my hand (something he told me that night he never did), and the kiss he planted on the top of my head before drifting off to sleep. As he rubbed his hand up and down my back I knew it didn't matter to me if he said it, Sasuke Uchiha had picked me.


	5. Chapter 5

**By the** end of the next week I had spent every night in Sasuke's bed much to the annoyance of Lee who seemed more than disheartened about our new relationship. Luckily Lee was a sound sleeper and Sakura was hardly ever home so Sasuke and I had plenty of opportunities for him to teach me all of the things he liked in bed. That Friday after chemistry, which we had together, we walked over to get some dinner.

I was rambling on about my day while he listened, "I finally convinced Shikamaru to tutor me in physics," Sasuke wasn't taking that class, "that class is so hard, anyways he's really smart he just doesn't like to work hard. I had to promise to help him get out of gym and stuff since that's to much work for him apparently. You're so lucky you don't have to take gym!" I said referring to the fact athletes weren't required to take a gym class.

Sasuke was into martial arts, he had briefly mentioned it before on our hike but like most personal things he didn't really say much about it. What he had said was he got into it after his parents death, he wanted to get stronger so he couldn't get hurt anymore. But the actual type of marital arts, what the team did, those details, those he neglected.

He still hadn't said anything so I continued (I did that a lot), "Seriously I wish I did martial arts or something too because gyms is so boring, I mean they make us play dodge-ball, that's not even exercise."

"There's a tournament tomorrow," He said like it was no big deal.

"Oh?" I said so curious. I wanted to hit him till he gave up the information but I waited patiently.

"Yeah it's not a big deal or anything. You interested?"

_Are you freaking kidding me?! DUH! Seriously?!_ "Yeah sure, I guess I could come if you want."

"It's up in the main gym, starts around one."

After dinner we started walking towards his apartment like usual, "Are you sure you should spend tonight with me shouldn't you be like training or something?" I asked stupidly.

"Hn." He said with a slight laugh at me and the conversation was over, though I did make sure that night that there were no hickeys visible on his body.

He got up early kissing me and leaving me in his bed to get a few more hours rest. Next I saw him I was sitting on the coldest hardest bleachers in a gym that was definitely not packed with fans, not that any of the fighters cared. He didn't exactly acknowledge my presence but he did look in my direction once. I fidgeted looking down at the source of my pain, the metal bench, when suddenly I feel someone sitting down next to me pressed up close against the length of my side.

I tucked a few loose hairs behind my ear looking over into Gaara's green eyes.

"Hey!" I said surprised looking at his uniform. "I didn't know you were on the team."

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" He asked.

I glanced over at Sasuke, then back into Gaara's eyes. I liked Gaara and Sasuke and I weren't dating and from the way he talked we never would, so I lied a little not wanting Gaara to know I was there for another guy. "It just seemed like fun."

He smiled at my response then looked down as three people approached, two boys and a girl.

"Come on Gaara warm ups are about to start." A shaggy haired boy with red marks on his cheeks said.

Gaara stood up then turned back to me and introduced. "Naruko, this is Kiba, Neji and Ten Ten." The girl, Ten Ten, and Kiba waved but Neji just stood with his hands on his hips. I smiled, stood up and waved back, loving Gaara for being so wonderful. It got better after that when he hugged me tight.

"You're gonna be great," I whispered into his ear. He smiled modestly squeezing my arm in acknowledgment then turned and walked down the bleachers to his waiting friends.

"Cheer for us ok?" Kiba yelled at me smiling before jogging off with the others.

I felt great. For the first time in my life I had friends, real friends. I smiled happily sitting back down, the bench feeling much more comfortable. Only remembering Sasuke as I watched him warming up. He had made it clear from day one he wasn't going to commit, he had never had a serious girlfriend and never wanted one. I was fooling myself to believe I would be different. He cared for me, but would that be enough? My eyes drifted to Gaara, I could see myself happy with him. There was just one problem, Gaara wasn't Sasuke.

Gaara was amazing, he fought smart. He waited watched and planed he had the ultimate defense only attacking when he had a clear advantage. Ten Ten was good too, strong but ultimately lost her match. Neji moved like a fluid, winning easily. Kiba, man, I have never seen someone fight like him, He was crazy like a rabid dog on the attack only barely pulling a win over a tough opponent.

I don't know what I was expecting when I saw Sasuke was up. He looked tough a lithe but I had never been overwhelmed with his strength and speed but that was before. He was born to fight. I stared in awe, the way he moved was so smooth, perfect. I had never seen anyone as gorgeous as Sasuke in that moment. Fighting was his natural element, making everything else he did look clumsy. He was like the perfect ninja and quickly won his fight.

The rest of the tournament passed quickly. Gaara, and Kiba and Ten Ten who liked any friend of Gaara, came to visit me often. They made me laugh and smile, the time passed more quickly with them around. I caught Sasuke glancing at me sometimes but he didn't bother to come by once or even wave.

The worst part of the day was when Sakura and Ino showed up halfway through the tournament and started screaming and waving at Sasuke like fan-girls. It was awful and annoying until Kiba made a smart remark, "Sasuke isn't worthy of fan girls! If girls want to cheer for something they should see my abs." He said patting his own stomach and winking at me. I had to cover my mouth I was was laughing so hard then he put his arm around my shoulder and asked me to be his fan-girl.

Gaara walked up right then as if on queue. Kiba pulled me in against him kissing me on the cheek before saying "Hey Gaara," tauntingly.

"Hey Gaara," I said giving Kiba a laughing little push off of me. Gaara looked so jealous at that point I started to blush. He just got Kiba and took him away for something having to do with the tournament.

In the end it came down to Sasuke in the finals against a senior from another school named Deidara. It was intense as they turned off the lights and they fought under a large spotlight in the center of the gym. Sasuke was amazing. He was the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen. He was sweating, disheveled and slightly out of breath but finished Deidara off with a brilliant set of moves. As I looked at him bracing his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath I realized I could easily love him. _How long should I chase him before I realize he'll never be mine._

I waited nearly an hour after the end for Sasuke to emerge from the locker room. When he did he casually put his arm up on my shoulder.

"You looked like you were having fun dobe."

"You were amazing Teme."

"Hn."

"Seriously! I wish I could fight like that!" I said honestly as we walked past the now empty gym. He then used his arm to steer me into the gym where the mats from earlier still covered the floor. I stared at him confused as he dropped his bag on the floor and took off his shoes. He took my purse from my shoulder putting it on the floor next to his bag then walked out onto the mat. I stomped my foot on the floor with frustration but then gave in and took my shoes off following him.

"Try me." He said with a smirk. So I did. He easily dodged me and attempt a counter attack but I was faster than him. I'll never forget the look of surprise on his face in that moment, it was the most empowering feeling. I hit him in his lower ribcage with my elbow as I started to smile. But In my victory I didn't notice his twist and his arm sweep back. He hit me hard in the center of the chest knocking me to the ground. I landed flat on my back feeling murderous.

He let me get up. That time I surprised him twice, once getting a good hit in. I heard him grunt in pain or surprise, either way I was elated. That time he knocked me over harder following me to the ground and pinning me down to the ground with his forearm tight against my throat. I tried to push his arm off me but it was no use, he had me overpowered.

"Give up?" He asked. I glared back. "Give up." This time it was a command as he pushed hard making it hard for me to breathe.

He lifted the pressure so I was able to talk, "Never! I NEVER give up!"

"Hn." He smirked, then smiled straddling me to gain control of my legs that I had been using in the attempt to kick him off of me. He used his free right arm to grab my left wrist and force it into his left hand, the arm of which he still had on my windpipe. He searched my eyes taking the challenge then playfully used his right hand to punch me on my left bicep.

I laughed at him not so playfully punching him in the kidney with my free right arm. He let go of my throat moving control of my left hand to his right and using his left arm to fight my right. I did well for awhile slipping out of his grip and not letting him overpower me though he was clearly much stronger but eventually he managed to force my wrist to the floor moving it under his left knee pinning my whole arm in place.

He used one arm to pull my left hand to my right shoulder crossing it over my chest then hit me as hard as I had just hit him on my left arm, the same place as before. He hit me twice more in the same spot not increasing the strength any as I struggled until I said, "Give up on making me give up!"

He hit me one more time this time at full strength like he had used against Deidara earlier. It hurt, nothing before had hurt but that did. "No, I wont!" I shouted ridiculously happy he hadn't treated me as a breakable flower and gone easy on me. I smiled enjoying the serious fight until he hit me once more in the same place. I couldn't help it, that time I let out a squeak at the pain turning my head away from him so he couldn't see my eyes.

He sighed on top of me, a short sigh indicating frustration, then releasing my arms leaned over tenderly turning my face towards his. "You'd really make me kill you first wouldn't you?" He said curiously wrapping his right hand around my throat until I couldn't breathe. His eyes narrowed as he analyzed my reaction which was determination. I would never give in to Sasuke Uchiha again, I had lost once already the first night he kissed me.

As I fought for air my vision got blurry and I seriously debated giving in, but he did first. He let me go shaking his head leaning down to kiss my neck as I gasped for air. "You really are stupid," He said before kissing my lips. As he pulled back he smiled differently from before, my vision still wasn't completely straight but I was sure this new smile meant 'I love you'. He reinforced this idea by finishing his thought out loud, "But you are strong."

"Stronger than you!" I said knowing how vulnerable he was feeling after admitting that, for Sasuke that was the most intimate way he knew how to say he loved me.

"Not yet." He replied with a sly smile. _YET! He said yet! _That was like Sasuke for 'I love you so much I want to put it on a billboard and share it with the entire world'.

I smiled tucking my hand behind his head pulling his face to mine, "I love you." I said feeling him stiffen under my touch as I kissed him.

"Don't." He said then kissed me back passionately.


	6. Chapter 6

**We couldn't** control ourselves. He wanted to bury his feelings for me and I wanted to bury my feelings of heartbreak from his crushing response. We had sex that night on the mat in the middle of a dark empty gym before quietly putting ourselves together and heading out. He was silent as I walked back to my building. He followed, though I hadn't expected him to, since we both knew Sakura was going to be out at Ino's parents' for the rest of the weekend.

After he closed the door behind him he started. "You can't" I turned to face him my mouth open but no words coming out. "You can't love me." He said.

"What?" I finally came up with incredulous.

"You...I..." He stumbled trying to find the right way to say it. "I...can't give you that. I...can't... I can't love you back." He sounded nervous as if he was trying to convince himself as much as me.

I closed my eyes. Trying to calm him I said, "I didn't ask you to. Really."

"Well you should! You deserve someone who can love you back."

"No. I want you Sasuke. You. No one else!"

"I'm not gonna let you just wait around for me. I'm not going to change. All I can offer is this, nothing more." He said referring our practice of only being more than friends in private, with no commitment. He looked desperate and sad like a child whose favorite pet caterpillar turned into a butterfly and had to be released into the world.

"Sasuke," I started stepping closer to grab his hands.

"I want you to date." My brows furrowed in confusion.

"What?" He remained silent knowing I had heard and understood him. "Are you going to...date too?" knowing he would never actually date another girl, fuck her maybe, but not date.

"I don't know, If I feel like it." He sat down on my bed taking his shoes off and getting comfortable like it was all settled.

I was in shock. I stood there and I was shaking. He liked me, maybe even loved me, and he didn't want to. He didn't want to like me so badly he was willing to just give me away to another guy because he wasn't good enough for me. Who was he to decide who is good enough for me, or what I want or need?! I hated Sasuke Uchiha. I hated him for everything.

Despite the compliment from earlier about being strong, as I took off my shoes and got changed into something more comfortable, I weakly started to cry. He grabbed my hand when I was dressed and pulled me down to the bed on top of him tightly wrapping his arms around me. I cried for an hour on the shoulder of the man who made me cry. He never let go, except occasionally to use one hand to wipe the tears off my cheek. When I finally stopped he kissed me on the forehead tucking me under the covers and getting in next to me.

He pulled my head to rest on his heart and we lay there in silence. I focused on his heart beating thump-thump under my ear. I stayed up for hours thinking, until long after Sasuke had fallen asleep and rolled over. I just kept thinking, after all the loneliness he suffered he'd still rather stab his best friend through the heart than live happily ever after. Finally I fell asleep.

After that night nothing changed between us but in my heart Sasuke was gone. He wanted to break our bond, so he broke it. I never truly gave up hope, I would always chase Sasuke, but I had to take care of myself as well.

I joined the beginners karate class wanting to learn how to fight like everyone else. I met a girl named Hinata there who wanted to be stronger than her older cousin Neji. The weeks passed as I got stronger and happier. I had a whole crew of friends to whom Sasuke never existed. He seemed happy with that, me just having other friends to spend time with and didn't bring up the dating other people thing again.

It was about two weeks after I started karate that Sakura finally found out about Sasuke and I. We were cuddling watching a movie on my laptop from my bed while Sakura, who was supposed to be in class, came in to discover us. She looked like she was about to kill me in a blind rage but just stood there staring. She then left slamming the door behind her. She became a much worse roommate after that.

Two more weeks later Hinata invited me to a party her cousin Neji was having in his apartment. I sent Sasuke a text message to let him know I wasn't going to be able to see him that night and filled his inquiring mind in on all the little details.

I was so excited. It was the first time I had gotten invited to a party. I met Hinata right after class and we got ready together. We spent so much time doing our hair, eating candy, and gossiping we were almost late. She had straightened and combed my hair leaving it down to flow over my back. I was wearing a white low cut tank top that hid less than it showed and a nice pair of tight dark jeans. I helped her put her hair, which she normally left down, up in a tight knot curling any pieces that I left down.

When we got there the large apartment looked tiny due to the fact it was filled with people. As we were walking in I was enveloped in a bear hug. It was Tenten.  
"Naruko! You look so good!"  
"Thank you, so do you! How are you?"  
"Oh this party is amazing! Here follow me!" She grabbed my arm and dragged me through the crowd grabbing us drinks on the way.

"Oh my gosh!" I said as I saw what she was leading me to. It was Gaara looking so cute in his jeans and black t-shirt that I couldn't help but hug him tight. He offered me a seat next to him on the couch which was so full I was squeezed tight against him. Tenten winked and led Hinata off leaving the two of us together.

Nervous, I took a sip of the beer in my hand. I had never had alcohol before, being to young and all, and it tasted horrible.  
"Do you like this stuff?" I asked shaking the bottle at him.

He took a big sip of his smiling. "Oh god no, this stuff is horrible." He said with a smile. "Just drink it real fast I'll get you something better." Then he downed his whole drink and looked at me.

"Really?" I asked but with his smile directed at me I did it. I chugged the whole bottle of the horrible stuff, making a face as I finished that caused him to laugh.

He left and brought back two glasses, sitting down next to me. "What is it?" I questioned.  
"Tequila. " I sniffed it apprehensively feeling my head get cloudy from the beer. He raised his glass towards me, "Cheers."  
"Cheers, " I repeated clicking my glass against his and taking a swig. It felt warm in my belly and I liked it.

It was at that point I got lucky because I had taken my phone out of my pocket, about to find out why people tell you not to text drunk, when Tenten came over saving me from the awkward silence that had been developing and invited us to play a drinking game.  
I agreed holding my hand out for Gaara to take. He took it and followed us into Neji and Kiba's bedroom. It was a small intimate group, Gaara, Tenten, Hinata, Neji, and Kiba. We all sat in a circle on the floor our drinks on the floor in front of us.

We played, drank, and got so drunk. The game was over when Tenten finally leaned over and kissed Neji like she had been dieing to do for years. Neji kissed back emphatically making everyone else in the room laugh.

Kiba refilled his glass and downed the thing saying "Oh what the hell" and grabbed Hinata and kissed her much more briefly than the two lip locked on the side of the circle. Hinata turned bright red, raising one hand to her lips.

In an attempt to let Hinata breathe a little Kiba looked at Gaara and I. "Well?" he asked, "What about you two?" I got nervous, thinking of Sasuke. Then smiled at the look on Gaara's face and relaxed. Normally shy Hinata elbowed me in the back making me lean in towards him. Gaara slowly leaned forward until our lips touched. It felt good, different. It was amazing, at least it would have been if I had kissed him before I fell in love with Sasuke.

My mind briefly thought of Sasuke, but then I remembered I was supposed to be dating other people. I was supposed to be enjoying that kiss, so I did. I let loose and kissed him because Gaara was amazing. He was smart, funny, dedicated and caring and he wanted me. The six of us had a crazy night drinking and kissing until we were so drunk we forgot which person we liked kissing the most.

I made out with Kiba for at least a minute before backing up and slurring, "Heeeyyy, You're not Gaara." to which he replied. "I'm not" and kissed me again his tongue exploring my mouth. I pulled away laying down on the floor to stare at the ceiling watching the room spin.

I felt someone straddling on top of me, Tenten. She took her shirt off and said "Hey boys what do you think about this?" Before leaning down and kissing me full on the mouth with tongue. I liked it, kissing a girl was so much softer and more comfortable than kissing a guy. It all gets a little blurry after that but I remember hands on my breast and kissing Hinata as well and maybe Neji.

I woke up in bed with all five of them. They (we?) had pushed the two beds together and all cuddled up. Gaara was behind me his arms wrapped around me and my head was laying on Kiba's chest across from Hinata's which was on his other shoulder, Tenten's arm was around Hinata's waist and on the far side was Neji. It took forever for us to get out of that bed, my head was killing me. Eventually we managed to get up and get some breakfast. Then we all split up to go recover. I was pretty sure I wasn't even to the hang over yet, I was still drunk as Gaara walked with me. "My room is closer" He said noticing I stumbled and kept tripping a little over my own feet.

I nodded following him to a nearby apartment. I walked around his room and sat on the bed. He sat next to me and I acted on instinct pulling him to me by the face to kiss. I wanted to forget Sasuke then and there. I wanted Gaara, he would never break my heart, never make me cry. He was good, and kind, and sexy, and not Sasuke. My tongue was insistent, I wanted to turn him on. He pulled back scanning my face.

"Yes I'm still a little drunk." I cocked my head to the side flipping my hair back over my shoulder, "Not enough that it would be taking advantage though."

He kissed me back softly and slowly. He was the opposite of Sasuke in every way. Sasuke was passionate and fierce especially in bed and Gaara was slow and thoughtful. He took his time with the kiss, it was languorous and tender. He pulled my shirt off and bra off and took his time to take in my body with his eyes before kissing me softly and saying, "You're so beautiful. "

I was taken aback, Sasuke had never said anything like that before especially when he was erect and about to take me on his bed. He took his shirt and pants off while I pulled off my pants. He was only the second man I had seen naked so I was a little nervous as he lay down on top of me.

He brushed some hair off my face and kissed me again slowly moving his tongue inside my mouth.

"No one's ever told you that before have they?" he observed. I shook my head agreeing. "It's true. Your skin is soft and smooth, your hair is silky and shines, your eyes, " he paused staring deep into mine as I stared into his light green ones. "I could get lost in your eyes." he finished.

"Oh Gaara" I said finally getting the courage to slowly move my hands over his body, touching his erection. I used my hand to guide him into me.

He had sex the same way he kissed, slowly and tenderly. With Sasuke it was always driven by our mad lust for each other. For the first time I realized why it could be referred to as 'making love'. Gaara made love to me that day, it didn't last long but he kissed me sweetly when we were finished and disposed of the condom while I put my clothes back on.

I kissed him one last time saying I had to get home. He offered to walk me but I declined, I really needed that time to think. What did it all mean?


	7. Chapter 7

**Valentines day special! Hope you all enjoy your holiday (I would love more reviews! Let me know what you're thinking!)**

**I spent **the rest of the day at home in bed. I tried to watch movies and get some sleep but Saukra was home playing loud music and banging things around like she always did when I tried to relax since she caught Sasuke and I together. I went to take a shower just to get out of the room and she left, locking me out in my towel knowing I hadn't brought my keys. When I finally got back inside I got dressed, wrapping myself in Sasuke's large sweater that he had left in my closet and curled up on my bed.

After our first class together the next day Sasuke came with me back to my room like he always did for the hour before math.

"Hey Sasuke?" I started nervously wondering how he would react. He had asked me to see other people, but I guess I really hoped he would be jealous and say he wanted me only for himself.

"I slept with Gaara"

He laughed. Clearly he didn't believe me.

"Sasuke," I said quietly.

He scanned my face knowing me well enough to figure out it was the truth. I was completely stupid to expect him to care. All I got was a "hn" and a shrug. Then he took out his homework and scribbled silently for the rest of the hour.

He packed up, kissed me, and walked to the math building with me. He smiled turning to go to his own class.

Gaara blushed when I walked in and sat next to him. I guess I was nervous because I said "Hey, nice pen." Then laughed at myself. It broke the tension causing him to laugh too. We spent the rest of the lesson looking at each other then blushing and looking away.

After class as I packed up my books Gaara asked, "Hey what are you doing this Friday?"

I have no idea what got into me because I cockily replied "Going out with you!"

He looked nervous and shocked for a second but recovered and quickly smiled huge. "Good."

We walked to lunch together meeting up with Kiba and everyone.

"Did your head ever stop hurting Naruko?" Hinata asked politely.

"Yeah thanks, I had a great time thanks for inviting me." I blushed looking in Gaara's direction.

"You two," Neji said glancing between us. His eyes never missed a thing.

"Oh my gosh!" Kiba shouted catching on. "You finally asked her!"

"We're just going on a date Kiba, it's not a big deal. " Gaara said a bit embarrassed.

I turned scarlet and hid my head behind Gaara's shoulder. which caused a collective "awe," from everyone.

The rest of the day passed pleasantly until I sat next to Sasuke in the last class of the day. He wasn't paying attention, just playing some stupid game on his phone the whole time. Every time I looked over he'd hiss at me and tell me I was to stupid to not pay attention. After class I walked off not bothering to wait for him. We ate dinner together every night but not that night. I went home after class deciding I'd rather starve then eat with Sasuke Uchiha.

I finished my homework quickly and went to bed early, but I couldnt sleep at 9 o'clock. I watched some tv and started to drift off until my phone rang. Sasuke was calling me at 10:30 on a weeknight. I ignored it, I didn't want to hear him insult me some more.

At 11:30 the phone rang again, and again and again. No matter how many tines I hit ignore he called again. He must have called ten times before Sakura got up screamed at me and chased me out of the room threatening to kill me.

I answered, "Hey, "

"Naruko, It is Lee. You need to come over here now." Then he hung up.

I went back into my room getting dressed as Sakura yelled, then quickly ducked out the door.

I was terrified for the entire twenty minutes it took me to walk over. Was Sasuke alright? Why had they called me? I wanted to run but I stopped myself, if it were that important Lee would have told me over the phone. Nervously I knocked.

"Thank god!" Choji yelled grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me in.

"What is going on?" I shouted pulling my arm away from him.

"We went to see some friends from home who were in town and Sasuke. Arrghh. Well Sasuke..." He couldn't finish shaking his head.

"Sasuke drank, he drank so much. We told him to stop, we tried to take it away from him but..." Lee trailed off.

"Is he ok!?" I shouted my mind reeling. "Where is he?"

"We can not tell if he is alright. He will not let anyone near him. It was hard enough just to get him home. He keeps saying your name." Lee filled me in opening the door to their bedroom.

The lights were off and Sasuke was curled up in a ball in the middle of the floor. He held his arms out to block the light and shouted profanities. I kneeled down next to him and had to wrestle his arms down.

"Sasuke," I said softly and he calmed down. "Sasuke," I repeated running my hand over his face, thumb gently caressing his cheek.

"Naruuuko," He slurred.

"Shhh, I'm here. I've got you." I cooed pulling his head into my lap. "Sasuke," I used my serious voice. "How much did you drink? You could have alcohol poisoning. "

He reached a shaky hand out and grabbed mine. He felt fine, and I relaxed knowing he wasn't in danger.

"Naruko," came Lee's voice from the doorway.

"He's fine Lee" I said. He nodded closing the door again and then came back with a glass of water.

He handed it to me saying, "See if you can get him to drink, he wouldn't take it from us." Then left us alone.

I brushed his hair off his face, his eyes were closed but he needed to stay awake. I shook him a little, "Sasuke, Sasuke" He opened his eyes weakly. I pushed the glass at him, he stumbled a little trying to sit up so I put the glass down and gave him a tug pulling him up so he was leaning back against me using my legs on either side of him to hold him up then handed him the water.

I was relieved when he drank but I had to take it away from him so he wouldn't get sick. Lee came back in, it was past midnight and he was obviously tired. I nodded at Sasuke and Lee helped me get him to his feet. He helped Sasuke into the bathroom knowing he was going to start throwing up soon. While I rustled through his drawers to find some things he'd need.

"Thank you." Lee said laying his hand on my arm sympathetically then going to bed.

It was not by far my favorite night with Sasuke. I had the whole time sitting in the bathroom while he forcibly removed the alcohol from his system to think about why he had gone on this binge. To this day I still don't know but I've always thought it was because he was jealous of Gaara.

After he stopped throwing up and several glasses of water I helped take his clothes off. I took mine off too and guided him into the shower since he smelled like vomit.

Once I had made sure to get the soap all over his body, I turned off the water and helped him dress.

"Naruko,"

"It's fine Sasuke, " I said holding the shorts he used as pajamas. He kinda hit my hand and put them on himself. I was glad he was starting to perk back up, he was standing straight and acting almost human again. He leaned in as if to kiss me but I handed him his toothbrush instead. He brushed his teeth quickly then turned to me again.

"Naruko."

Tears formed in my eyes. "What the hell Sasuke! What were you thinking?" I then hit him hard on the shoulder knocking him back against the wall in the tiny bathroom. I opened the door and turned to go but he grabbed me and pulled me close nuzzling his face into my hair. I continued, "You can't do this to me Sasuke, it's not fair." and pulled away again.

He put his hand on the back of my neck, turning my tear streaked face towards him. His deep dark eyes bored into mine and I felt his soul. He was scared, sad and completely vulnerable in that moment.

"Don't go." he said simply. He meant so much with those words. He wasn't asking for just that night.

"Sasuke," I started not knowing what to say.

"Please." He said tears forming in his eyes.

"Shhh," I tried to calm him putting my hands on his face directing his eyes into mine. "I won't leave, not ever. I said I loved you Sasuke and I will, always."

He kissed me deep, his hands wrapped around my back like he was holding onto his life. I could taste his mint toothpaste on his tongue and I was still mad about his recklessness. When he pulled back for air I led him by the hand to the couch. I laid him down and he pulled me down next to him. That night he curled up tight to me laying his head on my shoulder over my heart.

The next morning I had to roll off the couch to get out from under him to get to class but he barely stirred. I was tired and in a terrible mood that day so I stayed away from my friends claiming to be sick. As I headed back to my room Shikamaru stopped me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, just not feeling so well today." He sighed.

"Look, this is kinda a drag but it'd be easier if you didn't lie."

It all just came spilling out the whole thing with Sasuke, and Gaara, and Sakura, all of it. He sat next to me on a bench in the shade of the courtyard and heard the whole story. When I finally finished he tilted his head back watching the clouds thinking it all over.

"I guess it comes down to, is Sasuke enough for you? If this is all he'll give you, is it enough? I know that's not the answer you want to hear but that's it." He said standing up. "Feel better" He called over his shoulder as he walked away waving.

I avoided everyone for the rest of the week, Sasuke, Gaara, all of them. I spent a lot of time walking the first day until I found a creek just on the edge of the school grounds with a bridge over it and rocks nearby large enough to sit on. I sat and watched the water flow by for hours wondering if Sasuke was enough. I could learn to love Gaara. It wasn't my responsibility to sacrifice being loved to suit Sasuke's needs.

I kept my date with Gaara. Friday night he picked me up giving me flowers and a teddy bear. He took me out to dinner and cosmic bowling. I wasn't any good and Gaara was worse, but we laughed at ourselves and were glad we had other things to be good at. When he pulled up to my building he opened my door for me and kissed me goodnight tenderly like I was something delicate and breakable, something immeasurably precious.

When I got up to my room Sasuke was sitting next to my door. He stood up as I approached, eyes narrowing as he noticed my gifts. I gave him a look demanding an explanation.

"Sakura went home for the weekend." He said. _Not exactly the answer I was looking for._ He continued, "Nice gifts," He nodded his head at the flowers and the bear then checked his watch. "9:30? Over pretty early for a date."

"Sasuke!" I growled warningly unlocking my door. I walked into my room standing in the doorway not letting him in. "He has to be up early for practice, you should know that!"

"Hn." He was getting angry too. "Stop being ridiculous let me in."

"Why?" I glared at him. Tired of his whole liking me then hating me thing.

His anger abated and he backed down. "Naruko, please. Let me in so we can talk about this." The desperateness of his pleading caused me to open the door.

He came in but remained standing while I closed the door behind us and put my gifts down on my desk.

"I'm sorry," He said shocking me. "What can I do?"

"I need more Sasuke, I need more than this." I waved my arm around trying to make my point.

"Like what?" I literally took a step backwards I was so shocked. He wanted to compromise?

"Uhhh," I stumbled over my tongue trying to find the right words. "I don't want you sleeping with other girls or kissing them or anything."

"I'm not" He said not understanding.

"But you could and I don't want you to."

He stayed silent thinking before replying "Is that it?"

"No!" I hung my head and sighed, "I want to be able to hold your hand in public, I want to be able to tell my friends about you, I don't want to have to date other people! I want you to come home with me for winter break and meet my grandfather, Jiraiya. I want you to tell me what you're thinking!" I shouted it all out.

He sighed, sitting down on my bed and running his hands over his face. He moved his hands downward so they were only covering his nose and mouth, then just his mouth where he intertwined his fingers. "Ok." He said hesitantly. I sank to my knees on the floor staring up at him in disbelief. "Not to all of it though," He clarified. "I won't see anyone else and I'll go with you for break, but I'm still not ready to make this public."

"What about Gaara?" I asked.

He looked at the flowers and the stuffed bear then stood up and physically turned away from me. "Keep seeing him." He said in a whisper.

"Sasuke," I said standing up and wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. He turned in my arms kissing me on the forehead protectively. The look in his eyes as he bent down to kiss me took my breath away. My heart could have stopped in my chest and I wouldn't have noticed I was so completely lost in his eyes. When his lips touched mine I could feel his heart in my chest, mine was gone. I gave myself completely over to him breaking all the barriers I had put around my heart.

Staying with Gaara would hurt like a piece of jagged wood stabbed through my leg that I couldn't take out, but losing Sasuke would destroy me like losing half of my soul. As his tongue entered my mouth I was his forever. His hands cupping my face moved to pull my shirt off, his every move slow and deliberate.

His every touch screamed his love for me, his hands setting my every nerve on fire as they moved over me. I could barely breathe, he was kissing me like he could only live on the air from my lungs. He slowly laid me down on the bed sitting on top of and straddling me then used his hands to pin mine to the bed on either side of my head. He then slowly tilted his hips sliding his legs out behind him. His body slid sensually down the length of mine.

He broke the kiss using his arms to slide himself further down kissing my neck and the rise of my breasts on his way down. His knees landed between my knees and he sat up pulling my legs to one side and pulling my pants off. He took his time with his own pants. It took him ages to unbutton and unzip them before taking a step back off the bed and standing up to drop his pants.

When he positioned himself back between my legs I almost couldn't breathe I loved him so much. His hand slid from my hip up my side, over my shoulder, and hooked behind my head pulling me up to meet his mouth. His fingers demanded all of me, not just my body. So once he laid me back down I untied my hair from it's pig tails and leaned up to kiss him lightly on the neck. I enjoyed the feeling of peace surrounding him as I showed him what he meant to me through touch.

My hands ran the length of his back caressing every thick muscle that ranged there. I kissed his collar, then kissed him directly over his rapidly beating heart. His muscles tightened and he bucked his naked erection against my naked clit. I tenderly kissed his temple, my hands on the side of his head covering both ears.

He kissed me pushing my head back down against the bed then pulled his hips back finding the right spot and entering me. I gasped at the feeling of completeness I felt with him in me. It was like he was meant to be there, meant to be a part of me. He was physically inside of me just as he was inside of my heart. I moaned differently with every move he made, he was slow, thorough, not missing a single spot. I held onto his shoulders, they were my last grip of reality as I was consumed by him and my love for him. Under my hands he began to sweat, his arms wrapped around my shoulders pulling him into me again and again.

His breathing sped up to match mine, our hearts beating the same frantic rhythm. My head was buried in his neck as he thrust into me. We clutched each other tighter finally reaching our climax together. As I fought to remember how to breathe I whispered in his ear "I love you Sasuke." He smiled and kissed me delicately on the lips before snuggling up with me under the covers and closing his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**My heart** hurt. It ached every second of the day. Some days I didn't want to wake up, some days I couldn't sleep. Days with Gaara, nights with Sasuke my whole life was a lie. Trust me, it wasn't easy managing a double life in such close proximity. There were thousands of mini moments and hundreds of larger ones where it was all so clearly a lie I could feel the wrongness vibrating off the walls. I wanted to scream, tear my hair out. I would have done anything, ANYTHING to make it stop, except give up Sasuke.

I couldn't live without Sasuke. He was a part of my soul. Even when he was gone I could feel him inside my chest, hear his voice in my head, see his smile. He was far from me and I couldn't live without him. Though he never said it, couldn't say it, I knew he couldn't live without me either. So we suffered, and slowly destroyed each other, dragging an unsuspecting Gaara into the middle of something he couldn't even imagine.

It started that Monday. After spending an entire weekend with Sasuke wrapped in his arms, only leaving bed for food. That weekend we had sex on every surface of my room including Sakura's bed. We fed off our love for each other driven by a blinding need to be a part of each other. Because of Sasuke's blocks we couldn't get any closer emotionally so we tried to make up for it by getting closer physically. But he wanted me with Gaara, and Monday came to soon.

My body was sore. I had bites and hickeys and bruises from where his hands grabbed my hips pulling me onto him again and again. Every time I moved my whole body screamed for Sasuke. His marks on my skin and the ache in my crotch made it impossible to forget him. I winced as I sat on the cold metal chair in math next to Gaara. I was ashamed of myself as I looked into Gaara's caring, happy eyes. It was wrong, it was all wrong.

Thank the stars I had been late to class so I had an hour before I had to face him. I couldn't focus, with each passing second I could feel my heart and mind tearing itself apart. As we were leaving class Gaara grabbed my hand firmly, smiling into my shocked eyes. We walked hand in hand from class. Sasuke, whose class was just a hallway away, walked by us. He raised his eyebrows at me curiously but made no other acknowledgment. As I walked away with Gaara I moved away wanting to rip my hand from his and run away as I felt Sasuke's analytical eyes taking in every detail of the scene. It was wrong, it was all wrong.

At lunch Gaara asked me out for an "official" date number two the next evening. All out friends smiled joked and asked us about our first date. I told them, remembering the fun. I had been going to throw the bowling ball when I slipped feet flying out in front of me falling hard on my butt. I rested the ball in between my legs which were spread in a "V". With a declaration "Oh fuck it!" I used my arms to push the stupid ball across the floor like a basketball player would pass. The ball rolled so slowly, Gaara came up behind me putting his hands on my shoulders, where I sat on the ground like a child, and watched with me. If we had been holding our breaths waiting for it to hit the pins we would have suffocated because halfway down the lane it rolled into the gutter then just stopped ten feet from the pins!

Gaara just chuckled saying nothing, but I got the last laugh! Gaara then reached down to help me stand back up. I took his hand and when I went to pull myself up he slipped too falling down haphazardly on top of me.

"OWE" I said then laughed at him hysterically.

He smiled embarrassed just before we both realized that one of his legs was between mine and his hips and chest were over mine. I laughed as my heart began to beat faster at his proximity. I moved my hands behind my back pushing against the ground so I was propped up on my elbows but he made no move of getting off of me. Instead, he had hooked the back of his hand around the back of my head and pulled me into a very public kiss.

It felt amazing to kiss someone in public, in the middle of a bowling lane on the floor Gaara let everyone know he liked and wanted me. I relaxed and kissed him back allowing his tongue into my mouth when some old guy had shouted at us "Get a room!" I had to throw three balls before I managed to hit the one I stuck in that gutter and get it into the ball return.

Our friends laughed so hard Kiba actually fell out of his seat. Gaara only opened his mouth to tell them about how ridiculous I had looked throwing ball after ball down the lane to hit the one I stuck. He also may have mentioned that the ball that managed to free the first one got stuck in the process causing me to have to do it again. I stuck my tongue out at him which he responded to by wrapping his lips around my tongue pulling it into his mouth and kissing me deeply.

Tenten cheered while Hinata blushed while I involuntarily moaned as he pulled away.

"That looks so fun!" Tenten commented standing up, as lunch was almost over, and looking sharply at Neji who had flat out refused to acknowledge their rather long make-out session from the party. "Come on Neji! What's your problem?" She finished.

Neji sighed standing up. Without warning he hooked his arm around the back of her neck and lower back pushing her over backwards into a dip and kissed her from years of suppressed longing. The rest of us just kinda gaped at the scene like fish out of water, mouths silently opening and closing. Neji released her as suddenly as he had seized her turning sharply and walking away like nothing had happened leaving Tenten flushed, out of breath and in pure shock.

The weeks passed and the awkward moments kept piling up. The most memorable moment was the day Gaara found out I knew Sasuke. One of Gaara's classes was canceled so he innocently came to visit his girlfriend, while Sasuke and I were studying on my bed. It was perfectly innocent, the door was even open. Gaara was just a little unprepared since I had never once mentioned even knowing Sasuke. So after finding him on my bed, well the look on his face cut like daggers to the heart.

I stood up greeting him and giving him a hug. "You know Sasuke right?" I asked a little to innocently.

"Hey," Gaara said to him.

"Hi," Sasuke replied gathering up his stuff and packing it in his bag.

"No, Stay." Gaara said sitting down next to me on the bed. Sasuke just stood there looking at me trying to gauge how mad he would make me then with an evil smile he put his bag back on my floor and relaxed into my desk chair. "How long have you two known each other?" Gaara asked Sasuke.

"Awhile," Sasuke replied with a shrug.

Gaara made a face not taking his eyes off Sasuke. It was as if I didn't exist, I was just a shiny toy they were going to fight over. "Ah." He replied then looked at me "I have an hour off, my class got canceled." He explained kissing me in a sexually suggestive way.

I tried to wriggle out of his touch my eyes locking across the room with Sasuke's. I wanted to throw up or scream or kill them or anything but just smile at Gaara and rip my eyes off Sasuke. I cleared my throat at Gaara looking towards Sasuke.

"So what are you guys studying?" Gaara asked Sasuke.

"I was helping her with chemistry." Sasuke replied.

"Maybe I could help too" Gaara suggested stupidly. He was smarter than me no doubt but Sasuke was top of the class, the best teacher a girl could ask for.

So we awkwardly pretended to study. Sasuke was quiet and highly analytical and Gaara seemed taunting and rude. Once Gaara even put his books down and leaned over and tickled me, I'm a lot ticklish so I laughed despite myself but he was touching me in intimate ways and parading it in front of Sasuke whose eyes never left mine the whole time it was happening. My eyes screamed out to Sasuke, screamed for him to stop this, screamed my pain and torment and he just sat there and watched me drown in mortification and self-loathing.

The minute I got them to leave I called Jiraiya and booked a plane ticket home for the four day weekend at the end of the next week. Enough was enough.

I spent the four days remembering why I left home. Jiraiya was working on some new perverted novel and ignored me the whole time so I stared at the ceiling of my old bedroom remembering the times when too little attention had been the problem. I cried into my pillow knowing Sasuke had turned his phone off and was spending the weekend back in his home town crashing on ex-girlfriends and other fan-girls couches because his apartment was "to lonely".

I felt so alone I started wondering if I had made the whole thing up. Maybe Sasuke wasn't real and didn't like me after all maybe I was just so miserable I created him as a fantasy. I didn't notice at the time but now looking back I notice Gaara never crossed my mind even once that entire weekend.

When I got back I barely even paused to drop my stuff at my room before heading out in the bitter cold to walk to Sasuke's. He was home alone when I arrived.

"Damn it Sasuke!" I shouted grabbing him roughly by the collar. "I hate you!"

He grabbed me pulling my into a kiss and pulling me inside the apartment in one movement. "I missed you too." He said with a smile as he closed the door. I scanned his face for any hint of a lie but we moved to the bedroom and just held each other while we talked for hours. When his roommate wanted us out to go to bed we moved to the living room and talked all night. We had been apart four days and yet we were entirely miserable without each other.

We had sex that night like we hadn't seen each other in months. We skipped the foreplay instead just going at it hard and long. I think he made a game of it to see how many he could get me off. Somewhere around 15 I lost count and started feeling high. My senses were overloaded. The smell of him, the taste of his mouth on mine, his tongue in my mouth. The sounds of our labored breathing, the feeling of his soft naked skin running over mine. I loved all of him, every wrinkle around his tired eyes, every soft black hair on his head, everything. I was Sasuke Uchiha's and he was mine. I was done letting him make my decisions for me. It was time he acknowledged me, time he told me he was mine.

There were only 3 weeks until finals and winter break and I had a lot of things to do.


End file.
